You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
