so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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