They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
