It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
