I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
