He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
