my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
