Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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