i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
