We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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