so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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