Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
