I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
