If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
