8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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