Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize