Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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