i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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