you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
