So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
