just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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