their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
