he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
