my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
