I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
