remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize