worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
