his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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