Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
