I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
