haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
