ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
