If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
