Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
