I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
