I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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