So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
