So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
