Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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