Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
