This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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