I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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