I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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