Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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