somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
