At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
