he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
