She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
