i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
