You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize