every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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