You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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