We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
