i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
