Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
