I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
