You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
