can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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