This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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