Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
